Obnoxious rebellion

I don't enjoy being told to do things. Even if someone tells me to do something I already want to do, it makes me want to do it less for some reason. This mentality is strange to me and it seems to be a common trait among people. Really, if I already want to do a thing anyway, someone telling me to do it should have no effect, but, I guess just because humanity is a rebellious bunch, it has a negative effect instead. This is obnoxious for a few reasons. Firstly, I don't particularly enjoy feeling that rebellious impulse in the first place, it feels very close to pure irritation. In addition, I definitely don't want to associate that feeling with something I would otherwise find pleasant or something that is necessary. I feel this will ultimately end up discouraging me from doing that thing in the future because now it's associated with that irritation. I don't really know what to do about this other than seclude myself so nobody can tell me to do anything, but that really seems like a poor solution.

　

This morning, I weighed 188.9 lbs

　

Yesterday I ate

　

~ A blueberry bagel with cream cheese

~ A strawberry citrus smoothie

~ Most of an ice cream cone from the zoo

~ Two peanut butter and honey sandwiches

~ Two packets of ramen

　

I wonder if meditation could help me avoid assigning negative emotions to otherwise pleasant activities. I'd like to find out, but I'm concerned that having something or someone tell me it's time to meditate and that I have to will sour that experience as well. Maybe I'll find out for sure, but hopefully I'm wrong.

　

Take it easy!